That’s a question I found myself having to ask in these recent weeks, and it’s also an invitation for some honest and compassionate self-inquiry…for me, as I am guided to write this blog, and for those of you who are ready to ask it of yourselves, to listen for answers, and then to take whatever action your heart whispers for you to take. Despite the fact that I really do live in the present moment most of the time (and when I find myself using that phrase, really do, I already know I’ve been triggered into trying to convince you of something I’m not even certain is true), I am having to ask this question in order to quiet the feelings of fear I’m feeling at a time when I should be excited.
So why is it that when life seems to be so clearly in alignment with our purpose for being here, we can sometimes feel scared or feel uncertain and begin to question that guidance, that coalescence of events leading to the fulfillment and manifestation of a dream or desire or goal?
I’ve had to ask myself this question as I prepare to deliver a talk, a Sunday service message as a guest speaker at a nearby Unity Spiritual Center, and a two-hour workshop following the service. Why would I be feeling scared when I’ve been given the freedom to choose the themes for both of these presentations? When I’ve had the wonderful, creative and professional support of a lady who prepares all the PowerPoint slides for my own spiritual center? When I have fully prepared the additional reference materials I’ll be using and have spent time rehearsing and timing the talk and the workshop, using a copy of the PowerPoint slides?
Several explanations have come to me as I ask the question:
- One can feel scared and still be fearless! It is a fairly common experience for us humans to feel scared when we are about to do something we haven’t ever done before. And it is, after all, just a feeling, one that may be less concerning if we call it by another name…say excited. How does that feel now? Because as I do just that, at this very moment, I’m experiencing a shift. There are still some butterflies, but they are easier to bear; maybe even a tad bit of positive anticipation is creeping in! Now I’m on the verge of being fearless! “I think I can, I think I can, I know I can! I know I can! (to borrow from a childhood memory of words from The Little Engine that Could).
- My inner “little kid” may still need to be reassured that he’s safe doing things he may not have done before, that he doesn’t have to do them perfectly (his best is good enough) and that it’ll be okay for him to also have fun while he does it! That he has lots of support. A little self-care is required here, and for me, that means taking time out from a very busy schedule to have some fun and that old favorite of mine: Stop, Breathe, and be still.
- Are there perhaps some other unrelated issues that I know need both my attention and work? Stuff I’ve already become fully aware of but haven’t yet made time for? If so, then I can add them to a list, and when I’m less busy and have more available time, I can decide to take on the next “get to” on that list. The key here is to compartmentalize my projects so I remain focused. I remind myself that I can unintentionally let these other issues cloud my focus and deplete my energy.
What I’ve concluded after the time I’ve just spent considering my own question is this: I AM fearless, so long as I don’t allow the feeling of fear to get in the way of my spiritual purpose for being here in the first place!
Now it’s your turn to consider the question as I return to my life which, for the next few hours, includes dining out with our next-door neighbors for a tasty Bright Line meal at one of our favorite local restaurants!
Love & Light, Steven