I attended an engaging and powerful workshop yesterday. It was entitled “The Art & Practice of Living with Nothing and No One Against You” and it presented an understanding of “The Q Process,” a very practical system for uncovering who we are not and, at the same time, discovering who we truly are. I’m pretty familiar with the material because I’ve taken the workshop and the follow-up 21-day Q Process Practice several times over the past five years. I’m a certified Q coach, but I was taking this workshop as a student, curious to find out about the latest version of the workshop and I wasn’t disappointed, for the subtle changes have only improved the effectiveness of the presentation and the interactive exercises. And it helped that the facilitator had an easy-going presentation style.
Like a good book, one can always find something new or something that may not have registered the first or even the second time you read it, and that was how it was for me. That’s what this blog is about: I suddenly realized so clearly that contrary to what many people say about looking back, we really do need to look back into our past in order to see what has shaped who we are today. Particularly if we aren’t all that content with who that is. Or who we’ve come to believe we are! What others were discovering in taking this workshop for the first time was that, like most of us, who we think we are is largely shaped during our very early years growing up, a time when we all have the basic needs of being loved and being safe. At such a young age we are not yet able to reason and accurately evaluate what we hear and see around us; our sense of self is fragile. If our need to be loved and to feel secure aren’t met, then we grow up believing things like we’re not enough, we’re unlovable, or that you can’t trust others (you can complete the list by adding your own).
We take these false beliefs on and carry them into our adult years along with some we create for ourselves and because they cause us such emotional pain whenever they surface, we push them down and never share our feelings with anyone. They become hidden from mind but can be triggered at the drop of a hat and we react. We experience feelings that don’t feel good and we either lash out defensively or withdraw or flee (or go numb). Our defensive reaction is a way of avoiding the bad feelings; we project blame on the situation or person. And if we choose withdrawal or flight, it’s a sure sign we are internalizing our sense of shame or guilt (I’m bad) and we end up being depressed.
To my initial point, it is essential that we break out of the cycle of self-blame and projection and be willing to allow both the feelings and the beliefs behind them to come into the light of inquiry. But the inquiry needs to be led by the Spirit within, our God Self, and that can only be experienced when we connect with our heart space, in that consciousness where only God is, where there is no judgment, no lack, and no fear. Only good. When we can do that, the way is cleared for us to now begin to see who we are not, and to be open to discovering who we truly are! And that is the beginning of discovering what possibilities await us the moment we stop giving power to what is not the truth and begin claiming our power to realize our own heart-felt dreams!